Dressing for Church, by M

A friend asked me recently whether I would date someone who didn’t go to my church. I responded with the following “I’m not limiting myself to just the people who attend my church; if I meet someone at the gas station that qualifies (see post on the dating covenant lol) I’d go for it. That said, the chances of finding said man are exponentially higher at church than they are anywhere else.” Which brings me to the topic of today’s post… dressing for church.

It’s come to my attention recently that dressing for church is a big deal. Like an “I might meet my future hubby today” big deal. What one does or doesn’t wear to church is of utmost importance… it can determine the entire trajectory of your future for better or worse! One must take careful consideration when picking the outfit and accessories, because one wrong move can send the wrong signal to someone who just might be the right person. What to do?!

In my casual observation, I’ve noticed a few different breeds of (presumably single) women that I would like to reference for this point:

1) Ms. Conservative Denomination: There are actually a whole load of subtypes within this type, ranging from one end of the spectrum to the other according to their former orthodoxy. On one end? The skirt-to-the-ankles wearer, who might even don a hat in accordance with I Corinthians 11:5 – “And every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head…” On the other end? Slacks and skirts, but never jeans, God forbid. This woman is winning hearts the right way with her “beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit” and her fierce dedication to Christian traditionalism. Besides, doesn’t everyone know that denim is the enemy of God?

2) Ms. Modesty: often a close relative of the former type, this one prides herself on out-modestying every other woman in the building. She will not incite lust in any passerby, courtesy of her turtleneck, cardigan, knee-high socks, and/or scarf. Just in case, she avoids lace, prints, cutouts of any kind, and anything else that may be considered an “eye trap” of seduction. She’s not giving herself to any man other than her husband, especially because Jesus said that looking lustfully at a woman is the same as being an adulterer. This one is no home wrecker!

3) Ms. America: this woman is likely new to church and the church scene. She may not be spouting versus from 2 Timothy from memory, but she does know a thing or two about hooking a man. She often forgoes short skirts (great to dance in but difficult when sitting in a pew) but flashes some cleavage just to keep everyone on their toes. She knows she looks better than the stuffy covered-up Betty’s, and banks on the fact all these men experiencing abstinence-induced deprivation will surely notice. If they’re waiting until marriage, they might at least make it worth their while and find a wife with a smoking hot bod, right?

4) Ms. Secretly Seductive: okay, so she knows and mostly agrees with the whole purpose of God’s call to modesty, but she hates feeling like she’s potentially one step away from becoming a potato-sack wearing, soon-to-be cat lady. She does her best to not be overtly seductive, but she throws in a little something here and there just to… suggest… that maybe she’d look “darn” good were she not quite so modest. Favorites of this type include: stilettos, 2+ inches above-the-knee sundresses, colored bra straps, slightly undone hair, and strategically placed accessories. Men can feel comfortable bringing this type home to mom, while also showing her off to their non-Christian friends and getting mostly positive feedback from both. She’s pretty sure that this secretly seductive approach is how Ruth snagged Boaz… and she made it into the lineage of Jesus! Pretty sure that means God approves…

5) Ms. Song of Solomon: this girl knows that she is the bride of Christ and that He thinks there is no flaw in her. She puts almost no thought into what she wears to church, other than the occasional thought about what will look like she’s putting no thought into it. Her makeup is minimal, her hair usually up, and accessories? What accessories? Her heart is so close to God that a man needs to seek Him first in order to find her. Besides, she’s a great pick because she’ll look the same as a 45 year-old soccer mom as she does now… no surprises here!

Each of these types likely ropes in a different kind of God-fearing man. Which to choose?! Of course, we could all just not worry about it and trust God to bring us to the right man, even if we did happen to be wearing a sack cloth (and ashes?) when it happens, but where is the fun in that? What are we supposed to do in that case? Take all of the time we save by not shopping and not straightening our hair and , like, hang with orphans and sing hymns instead? …really?

Big News, by M

Are you all so tired of hearing from me? I realize today that W has not written in this blog in over TWO MONTHS. I think that means that her hiatus needs to be over... yesterday. Please feel free to put a little pressure on her if you know her in real life. =)

This one will be relatively quick. I just wanted to share with y'all that I have a very new and exciting update that I can't WAIT to tell the world about...

I got a new job!!!

Remember when I very melodramatically wrote this post only a few months ago? Well, God had something in store for me and like a true brat, I just couldn't trust him enough to wait in peace for it to be revealed. It very much reminds me of when I wrote this other post about how I sinfully believed that God didn't want to give me an awesome man and a beautiful love story, approximately 35 days before He actually... started to. Hmmmmmmmm I think I need a reality check. haha

But seriously, this job is a true God-send. It is absolutely a gift from a Father that loves each of us mightly and desires to bless us richly and use us to bless others. Let's hope I can remember that next time...

Starting two weeks from today, I will be joining the Singles Ministry team at my beloved church!!! FYI, "singles" can sometimes be a misnomer... as I've said here before, it's basically a ministry for anyone who is not currently married. So, the Singles ministry serves church attendees from 19 (or post-college) all the way up to seniors who may be unmarried due to death or divorce. There are engaged singles and single parents, too. So, it really is the biggest and farthest-reaching of all the ministries, even though it often seems like "singles" just means other people like me and my friends. It was a very serious vetting process - I went through 7 interviews, two personality profiles, and a 180-question psychological assesment. Let's just say that the whole process was very long and a huge test of my patience and faith. But, the wait is over and the verdict is in.... I am SO PUMPED!!!!

This job will be an answer to many of my prayers, and I can't wait to see the many ways that God will surprise me through it, too! All of you that know me know how much this church has meant to me and how much I believe in the good they are doing throughout my city and throughout the world... What an honor and privilege to join their ranks on staff.

Throughout the interview process, I made Psalm 16:2 my motto: "I said to the Lord, 'You are my Lord; apart from You I have no good thing.'" Amen. HE IS GOOD!

Deceit, by M

I have a confession to make: ever since the news broke of the Colorado movie massacre last week, I have been totally hooked on reading the news articles about it. Like, I think I might need an intervention. I seem to have an unhealthy intrigue about the entire situation.

There is very much that can be said about the tragedy, and especially much that has to do with theology. I doubt I’m the only one who has been increasingly thinking and pondering questions of good and evil over the past few days. That said, I consider myself grossly under-qualified to tackle any of these questions, especially in a forum other than the one inside my own head. So, while my thoughts are swirling with "why?s," "how could he?s" and "what if?s"… I will keep those to myself.

Another question has been brought to light recently, however, and it is this… "Why am I drawn to learn so much about this?" Seriously. Why am I like a moth to this tragedy’s lamp? What does that say about me and my heart?

Upon reflection, I’ve realized that this is not an isolated circumstance, either. I realize that my middle school fascination with the Holocaust falls into the same camp, as does my college-age obsession with reading Caringbridge sites, as does my desire to click on any and all facebook pages that say "Praying for… so and so" or "RIP so and so." It’s like I just need more information. I need to know what exactly happened and, if I can figure it out, why.

Is this all making me sound like a creepy person? Probably. But I know that I’m not the only one who feels this way and reads these things.

So I’m talking to my BF last night, and as he starts to stage the aforementioned intervention, I find myself trying to explain or defend my attraction to this information. I admit that while exposing myself to such details of evil and brokenness surely amps up my daily level of fear… these articles also weirdly allay my fear in the moment. I realize that I gain a feeling of control over my life and my health when I read and process all the details of these tragedies, health crises, and disasters. Something tells me that knowing the details of whatever-it-may-be will somehow help me avoid or prevent it from happening in my own life.

Yet, that is a GIANT lie, isn’t it? More, it is a compilation of lies – that we can control our fate, that we can know when or how we die, that we can remotely attempt to change God’s path for us. This thinking suggests that God can’t be trusted to either protect us from harm or bring us into His glorious kingdom in His perfect timing. Everything about this way of thinking is contrary to what God tells us about ourselves and about Him.

In fact, this lie is the lie. Let’s go back to the Garden for a minute and revisit the story of Adam and Eve. When Eve is tempted by Satan, he tells her of eating the fruit: "For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil" (Genesis 3:5). In fact, that very fruit tree is now referred to as "The tree of the knowledge of good and evil." And we all know that Adam and Eve took the fruit and ate… causing the fall of man, banishing themselves from the Garden, and inviting evil and sin into the world as we know it.

It’s easy to think of Adam and Eve as being very dumb in that moment. Why forfeit their everlasting life, their eternal communion with God, their peace, joy, and comfort for the knowledge of evil? What a bad trade-off. Yet, that is exactly what I’m doing, isn’t it? With every article I read, I am taking the fruit and listening to the lie that says "learn more of this evil… this knowledge will keep you safe," "take and digest this knowledge, it is good… you need it to live," "use this knowledge to take control over your life and death" … in essence, stop trusting God and start trusting yourself – "be like God."

Yikes. Clearly the great deceiver is still at work. "When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies." (John 8:44)

In light of this revelation, I have made a commitment to myself: I will not be captivated by evil. I will not indulge the temptation that increased knowledge of evil will somehow protect or save me. For I already have a Savior and He has already rescued me from death and the power of sin. "But they have conquered him [Satan] by the blood of the lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they did not cling to life even in the face of death" (Revelation 12:11).

Amen.

"Hate"... Is it Really? by M

Hey everyone!

I got started on a new post nearly two weeks ago (part 2 of what I learned in Rome… as promised) and I haven’t been able to actually finish it. The topic just isn’t speaking to me now like it did when I first got home from Italy. That said, I still totally plan to finish it… it’s just that these days my mind is occupied by other thoughts that are taking precedence. So, sorry if anyone got their hopes up about that. Haha

The burden of posting has fallen on me recently (hence the lack of posts haha) as W and T have been enjoying a summer free from work, full of vacations, fun times, and, oh yeah, moving across the country. They’re mostly unpacked now, so hopefully W will be back to updating again shortly.

Anyway, what’s on my mind this week may be a bit controversial, and I typically don’t get into that stuff on here (or in public or with people I don’t know). So, I ask for your grace up front because, really, I need to just process my thoughts more than anything. I’m not trying to come to conclusions.. just trying to figure it all out, you see!

These days my facebook news feed is a battleground. Does anyone else feel that way? Each and every day I scroll through facebook and see a dozen or more impassioned postings from both sides of the political spectrum. Moreover, something tells me that my facebook friends may be a bit more disparate than the average user. Generally speaking, all of my theatre major and Teach for America friends are WAY on the left and all of my Christian conservative friends are WAY on the right. And it boggles my mind how these groups of people can be equally educated (Bachelor’s, Master’s, JDs, and a few PhDs in progress) and equally passionate about ideas and values that are wildly different. It is exhausting to me.

However, what has been bothering me the most recently is this… the many, many voices I hear on facebook that equate Biblical values with hate. This makes me so sad. SO sad. Don’t get me wrong, I’m aware of plenty of Christian people who are hateful and display a disgusting lack of grace to certain people groups in this country. Westboro Baptist comes to mind, but it is certainly not the only one. I am aware that sometimes Christian people are hateful… radicals of all faiths and creeds tend to be, don’t they? But what makes me sad is this growing idea that standing for Christianity means automatically assuming a posture of hate. That is simply not true for the great majority of us.

Right now there is a big firestorm in the media about ChickfilA and their "hateful, anti-gay stance and sentiments." Now, for those of you up North, this might be totally irrelevant… but here in Atlanta, the ChickfilA capital of the world – literally, this is a big deal. Moreover, it’s become an issue for me personally as several friends and my BF work for their corporate headquarters. My experience has been this: ChickfilA is an unapologetically Christian organization. I’ve posted about it before on this blog, actually. They operate professionally on Christian values, they hire solely Christian believers, and they use their philanthropy branch (Winshape Foundation) to support Christian causes. Despite their size, CFA is a private, family-owned company, and as such they can do what they want. And they do – they close the stores on Sunday, they share prayer requests at meetings, and they have Bible verses all over the corporate office. And – ChickfilA has arguably the very best food and customer service in the fast food business. The people who work there are the sweetest and most genuine that I have ever met… the corporate culture is so healthy and wholesome. There is not an ounce of hate in the building. Well, except maybe from the cows. =)

So, it hurts me to see the media and many of my facebook friends railing about how hateful the organization is. Standing for Christian values (which includes marriage for life and the traditional heterosexual family unit) does NOT necessarily mean harboring hate for the alternative. And, it’s funny that the very people who often criticize the Christian community for being intolerant, narrow, and hateful are the ones hatefully labeling us as such, often unfairly. I wish I could ask some of them, "Do you feel that you’re being tolerant of my values right now?" Of course, the answer would be no. So then, why such self-righteousness about your supposed tolerance and our supposed hate?

Sigh. I don’t know the solution here. What I do know is that I’ll continue my thrice-weekly habit of ordering a regular chicken sandwich, extra-crispy waffle fries, and/or a chocolate chunk cookie. One, because the food is outrageously delicious, and two because I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being unapologetic about what you think is right. If people don’t agree… well, they can continue to unapologetically stand up for what they think is right, and enjoy a mediocre meal and service at KFC. But why not leave their hate at the door, especially if that thing they stand for is tolerance?

Discovering Christ in Rome, by M

Hey everyone! Sorry for the hiatus… W and I had a FABULOUS time in Italy with our family and now I find myself typing this on hour 6 of our long 10.5 hour flight back to the states. Although, I’m not really sure that anyone reads this thing, so maybe no one even noticed the hiatus since I’m pretty sure the two of us and mom are our only regular readers. Haha!

Anyway, our Italy trip included visits to many of the major Italian cities, including Pisa, Florence, Siena, Rome, and Venice. I could write for days about how beautiful everything was or how much pasta I ate, but what I want to talk about for the moment is my experience in Rome. I actually went to Rome twice during the trip, first with the BF (yes, he came with… big deal kind of!) and then later with the family. While I can’t say that Rome was my favorite of all the Italian cities, it did leave me with a distinct spiritual impression that I thought would be appropriate for this blog.

I’ll cut to the chase and just say it: people in Rome and in the Vatican really act and talk like Christ existed. Now, those of us who are Christians should not be surprised by the knowledge that He existed. His very existence and resurrection is the foundation upon which we build our beliefs and live our lives. Moreover, even totally secular history books confirm that a man named Jesus lived, died, and that Christianity was born out of his legacy. However, here in America at least, it’s still easy to think of Jesus more as a myth than as a man. It’s easy to think that Jesus (along with the other Biblical characters like David or Paul) was a magical guy that didn’t really experience earth the way that we do. What I loved about Rome was that I came face-to-face with actual history that was shaped largely by the actual existence of Jesus. It was incredible!

(I also learned a lot about the Apostles Peter and Paul, who came to Rome after Christ’s death and were imprisoned and eventually martyred there. I will save my additional thoughts on that for the next post!)

One of the favorite sites we visited in Rome was the Church of the Holy Cross in Jerusalem. I don’t remember all of the specifics, but long story short is that Saint Helen went to Jerusalem and collected all these relics from the time of Christ and brought them back to Rome to be kept safely there while the Middle East was experiencing all this conflict. Anyway, at the Church of the Holy Cross, we got to see these relics, which included a bone from “doubting Thomas’s” finger (that he put into Jesus’ side), a nail that was driven through Jesus’ hand or foot, a thorn from the crown of thorns, a piece of wood from the cross, and (definitely the coolest) the actual sign that hung above Jesus on the cross, which read “INRI” (Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews). There was also the world’s only exact replica of the Shroud of Turin, which has the image of Christ divinely burned into it. (Pics below). Now, there is certainly speculation about whether these relics are legit or not… and there are a lot of conspiracy theories about the Shroud as well. However, I don’t really care if it’s the actual nail or the actual shroud… Whether they are the real deal or not does not take away their suggestion of the reality of Christ’s life and death. This is especially significant when paired with the myriad paintings, mosaics, and sculptures dedicated to Him throughout all of Rome. It is glaringly obvious that this man lived and died according to what we’ve been taught to believe.

Take the Shroud for example… As you can (hopefully) make out from this picture, you can see how Christ’s body was laid in the tomb. You can understand his humanness by seeing his height, the width of his pelvis, and the cross of his arms, limp in death. You can also understand his suffering, making out actual stains of blood coming from this scalp, abdomen, running down his arms, and pooling at his hands and feet. Then, of course, you can understand his divinity by questioning how the image of his face and body came to be “burned” into this fabric… something that, to this day, no one has been able to figure out or replicate. And to me, the question of whether this is “the shroud” or not is unimportant… the reality is that there was a shroud, and Christ laid in it, limp and bleeding as this suggests. I was blown away by how real it all became.

All of this really makes me want to go visit Jerusalem sometime. Can you imagine?? How cool would that be!?

For now, my hope and prayer is that I don’t lose this feeling of awe and conviction. I want to live my life like I truly, sincerely believe that Christ Jesus walked the earth, suffered a bodily death, and rose for me… just as the Bible says. I hope that I can be inspired by the sacrifice of time, energy, and life that the early church made for their deep conviction of Jesus’ divinity, which is so evident in the culture, art, and history of Rome and probably throughout other major cities that were once in the Roman Empire. I don’t want to take for granted this gift we have of the evidence of Jesus… both within the words of scripture and the history of our world.

I also want to watch a documentary on the Shroud. Anyone want to join me?!

Abundant Gifts, by M

Hey everyone!

Sorry that I have been totally MIA lately. To say that things have been busy is a total understatement. I honestly do not remember a time when my life has been quite as crazy as it has been here in the last two weeks! Luckily, I have only one more 13-hour workday standing between me and two glorious weeks of vacation in beautiful Italy. CANNOT WAIT!!!!

On that note, here's advance warning that you may not hear from me and W for a while... we're planning on being relatively "unplugged" and just enjoying so much time being together and with the family. FYI!

I honestly don't have too much to say (and certainly nothing all that profound) because I feel certifiably brain dead at the moment. With that said, I decided I will share a brief thought/question I had earlier this week and perhaps invite you to weigh in on it with me.

Right now I'm reading Ann Voskamp's book One Thousand Gifts. It's a New York Times Bestseller and it received a lot of attention when it first came out (in late 2011, I believe?)... mostly for the stream-of-consciousness prose that she writes in. I'll admit, it takes a bit of getting used to. Anyway, the whole deal with the book (spoiler alert! haha) is that it's her experience of trying to live a life of "eucharisteo" or thanksgiving; she accomplishes this by writing a list of 1,000 gifts. Of course, she learns many good lessons along the way, and invites all of her readers to try the same gift-identifying exercise and see what happens in their heart and faith journey as they do it. For what's it's worth, I'm enjoying the book (even if it is a departure from the things I typically read).

So I'm reading this book and having crazy long day after crazy long day and I've been honestly trying to have a moderately better spirit of thanksgiving. I say moderately because I haven't actually written any gifts down... and I'm pretty sure the whole point is to actually do it (haha)... to make the writing of the gifts a discpline. I'm pretty sure it doesn't work quite the same way if you don't. Regardless, this idea of having a spirit of thanksgiving has been floating around in my mind at least, and that's a start, right?

Now, after recognizing about 4 gifts, a pattern became very clear that started to intrigue me. I noticed that all of the gifts that flowed easily into my brain were all "negative gifts," if you will. Meaning, all of my gifts sounded like this "I am so thankful that it is not raining today." "Man, it is so great that I don't have to ride the bus to work!" Or, my personal favorite: "God, I am just thrilled that I don't have to squat over a dirt hole to pee." These are all really great and awesome gifts, don't get me wrong! I am thankful for all of these things! But, it also revealed something in my heart: why is it that, for whatever reason, I'm only able to recognize these gifts in the context of comparison? Why is it that it doesn't come naturally to just think to myself  "I am thankful for sunshine... for a car that works... for a toilet"? A toilet, for gosh sakes! Is it that strange to be thankful for a toilet in and of itself!?

Apparently my instinct is to only recognize gifts in the context of being better off than someone else. And you know what, that reminded me of the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector in Luke 18:11-13... "God, I thank you that I am not like other men..." said the Pharisee. Hmmm, something about that similarity seems like bad news to me.

I think that true eurcharisteo happens only outside the context of comparison. Much has been made about the dange of comparison when you're on the losing end... however, this is teaching me that there is danger, too, in comparing when you're the one "winning." It is not for us to know all the ways in which God blesses others; maybe that hole in the ground is a blessing to someone else. Actually, I am sure that it is. So, all of this to say... I feel a conviction that true thanksgiving means recognizing the actual gift, and not recognizing simply the absence of something worse. For our God is one who gives abundantly! He should be praised rightly for that abundance, no?

Have you all ever noticed that tendency within yourselves, to give thanks for what you don't face instead of giving thanks for the abundance of what you have? What are your thoughts about it?

Mark 12 : 30

Mark 12:30:

"Jesus replied, “The most important commandment is this...the Lord our God is the one and only Lord. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength."

Haven't we all heard this verse a million times? Heart, soul, mind, strength. Heart, mind, strength, soul.We know, we know; love God above all else. 

If you're like me, you've never really given much thought to the fact that loving God with your mind is very different from loving God with your strength. I pretty much just bundled the four pieces together and decided that love is love. Today's message at church made me think otherwise. Here's the breakdown:


To love God with all your HEART, you have to allow His heart inside of your own. It's this whole, "Break my heart for what breaks Yours," idea. To love God with all my heart, I must love the people around me ("That which you do unto others you do unto Me"). The heart is the center of connection and emotion-- to love God with all my heart means to connect to my neighbors through and with empathy, grace, truth, and compassion.


To love God with all your MIND, you have to train your brain in the ways of the Lord. This means thinking about him often, learning about the life of Christ, reading the scriptures, doing book studies, talking rhetoric and theology with friends. I must fill my intellectual self with the stuff of God rather than memoirs of Chelsea Handler and Huffington Post news articles. The mind is the center of logic and decision-making-- to love God with all my mind means to fill it with knowledge about what's important and how it came to be so.

To love God with all your SOUL, you have to give the Lord time to feed it. We cannot love God with our soul if we never offer it to him and keep it closed off because we're too busy working out or having coffee with friends or sleeping in late. And none of those things are inherently bad. But I must allow God to create the longing for Him in my soul through reflection of His great works and my own great need. The soul is the center of self-awareness and values-- to love God will all my soul means to dedicate the quiet time necessary to allow Him to reaffirm who I am and what I believe.

Finally, to love God with all your STRENGTH, you need to allow the Lord to show you the ways in which you can help others. Not only does this 'strength' mean our own available energy, but also the spiritual gifts that the Lord has given us. I must figure out the ways in which the Lord has blessed me so that I can pour that blessing upon others. Strength is the center of talent and resources-- to love God with all my strength means to spend myself in the service of others using the gifts that He made me to use. 

Kind of life-changing, right? The idea is that each of us has one or two areas which are natural and easy places of love for us, and one or two more that could use serious development. For me, I'm pretty good at the heart and strength, but seriously lacking in the mind and strength categories. This knowledge will allow me to target my own weaknesses and figure out how I want to develop them. It's easy to say, "Of course I love God. I'm active in my church, I was baptized as an adult, I've said the salvation prayer, I sometimes give money to homeless people..." but in looking through this list, do our actions really reflect that we love God wholly? 


Food for thought. Also, major credit goes to my campus pastor Steve Gillen for bringing to our congregation's attention the framework for truly loving God with our hearts, mind, soul, and strength. Hope it's as impactful for you guys as it was for me this morning!