Hey everyone!
I got started on a new post nearly two weeks ago (part 2 of what I learned in Rome… as promised) and I haven’t been able to actually finish it. The topic just isn’t speaking to me now like it did when I first got home from Italy. That said, I still totally plan to finish it… it’s just that these days my mind is occupied by other thoughts that are taking precedence. So, sorry if anyone got their hopes up about that. Haha
The burden of posting has fallen on me recently (hence the lack of posts haha) as W and T have been enjoying a summer free from work, full of vacations, fun times, and, oh yeah, moving across the country. They’re mostly unpacked now, so hopefully W will be back to updating again shortly.
Anyway, what’s on my mind this week may be a bit controversial, and I typically don’t get into that stuff on here (or in public or with people I don’t know). So, I ask for your grace up front because, really, I need to just process my thoughts more than anything. I’m not trying to come to conclusions.. just trying to figure it all out, you see!
These days my facebook news feed is a battleground. Does anyone else feel that way? Each and every day I scroll through facebook and see a dozen or more impassioned postings from both sides of the political spectrum. Moreover, something tells me that my facebook friends may be a bit more disparate than the average user. Generally speaking, all of my theatre major and Teach for America friends are WAY on the left and all of my Christian conservative friends are WAY on the right. And it boggles my mind how these groups of people can be equally educated (Bachelor’s, Master’s, JDs, and a few PhDs in progress) and equally passionate about ideas and values that are wildly different. It is exhausting to me.
However, what has been bothering me the most recently is this… the many, many voices I hear on facebook that equate Biblical values with hate. This makes me so sad. SO sad. Don’t get me wrong, I’m aware of plenty of Christian people who are hateful and display a disgusting lack of grace to certain people groups in this country. Westboro Baptist comes to mind, but it is certainly not the only one. I am aware that sometimes Christian people are hateful… radicals of all faiths and creeds tend to be, don’t they? But what makes me sad is this growing idea that standing for Christianity means automatically assuming a posture of hate. That is simply not true for the great majority of us.
Right now there is a big firestorm in the media about ChickfilA and their "hateful, anti-gay stance and sentiments." Now, for those of you up North, this might be totally irrelevant… but here in Atlanta, the ChickfilA capital of the world – literally, this is a big deal. Moreover, it’s become an issue for me personally as several friends and my BF work for their corporate headquarters. My experience has been this: ChickfilA is an unapologetically Christian organization. I’ve posted about it before on this blog, actually. They operate professionally on Christian values, they hire solely Christian believers, and they use their philanthropy branch (Winshape Foundation) to support Christian causes. Despite their size, CFA is a private, family-owned company, and as such they can do what they want. And they do – they close the stores on Sunday, they share prayer requests at meetings, and they have Bible verses all over the corporate office. And – ChickfilA has arguably the very best food and customer service in the fast food business. The people who work there are the sweetest and most genuine that I have ever met… the corporate culture is so healthy and wholesome. There is not an ounce of hate in the building. Well, except maybe from the cows. =)
So, it hurts me to see the media and many of my facebook friends railing about how hateful the organization is. Standing for Christian values (which includes marriage for life and the traditional heterosexual family unit) does NOT necessarily mean harboring hate for the alternative. And, it’s funny that the very people who often criticize the Christian community for being intolerant, narrow, and hateful are the ones hatefully labeling us as such, often unfairly. I wish I could ask some of them, "Do you feel that you’re being tolerant of my values right now?" Of course, the answer would be no. So then, why such self-righteousness about your supposed tolerance and our supposed hate?
Sigh. I don’t know the solution here. What I do know is that I’ll continue my thrice-weekly habit of ordering a regular chicken sandwich, extra-crispy waffle fries, and/or a chocolate chunk cookie. One, because the food is outrageously delicious, and two because I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being unapologetic about what you think is right. If people don’t agree… well, they can continue to unapologetically stand up for what they think is right, and enjoy a mediocre meal and service at KFC. But why not leave their hate at the door, especially if that thing they stand for is tolerance?
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Discovering Christ in Rome, by M
Hey everyone! Sorry for the hiatus… W and I had a FABULOUS time in Italy with our family and now I find myself typing this on hour 6 of our long 10.5 hour flight back to the states. Although, I’m not really sure that anyone reads this thing, so maybe no one even noticed the hiatus since I’m pretty sure the two of us and mom are our only regular readers. Haha!
Anyway, our Italy trip included visits to many of the major Italian cities, including Pisa, Florence, Siena, Rome, and Venice. I could write for days about how beautiful everything was or how much pasta I ate, but what I want to talk about for the moment is my experience in Rome. I actually went to Rome twice during the trip, first with the BF (yes, he came with… big deal kind of!) and then later with the family. While I can’t say that Rome was my favorite of all the Italian cities, it did leave me with a distinct spiritual impression that I thought would be appropriate for this blog.
I’ll cut to the chase and just say it: people in Rome and in the Vatican really act and talk like Christ existed. Now, those of us who are Christians should not be surprised by the knowledge that He existed. His very existence and resurrection is the foundation upon which we build our beliefs and live our lives. Moreover, even totally secular history books confirm that a man named Jesus lived, died, and that Christianity was born out of his legacy. However, here in America at least, it’s still easy to think of Jesus more as a myth than as a man. It’s easy to think that Jesus (along with the other Biblical characters like David or Paul) was a magical guy that didn’t really experience earth the way that we do. What I loved about Rome was that I came face-to-face with actual history that was shaped largely by the actual existence of Jesus. It was incredible!
(I also learned a lot about the Apostles Peter and Paul, who came to Rome after Christ’s death and were imprisoned and eventually martyred there. I will save my additional thoughts on that for the next post!)
One of the favorite sites we visited in Rome was the Church of the Holy Cross in Jerusalem. I don’t remember all of the specifics, but long story short is that Saint Helen went to Jerusalem and collected all these relics from the time of Christ and brought them back to Rome to be kept safely there while the Middle East was experiencing all this conflict. Anyway, at the Church of the Holy Cross, we got to see these relics, which included a bone from “doubting Thomas’s” finger (that he put into Jesus’ side), a nail that was driven through Jesus’ hand or foot, a thorn from the crown of thorns, a piece of wood from the cross, and (definitely the coolest) the actual sign that hung above Jesus on the cross, which read “INRI” (Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews). There was also the world’s only exact replica of the Shroud of Turin, which has the image of Christ divinely burned into it. (Pics below). Now, there is certainly speculation about whether these relics are legit or not… and there are a lot of conspiracy theories about the Shroud as well. However, I don’t really care if it’s the actual nail or the actual shroud… Whether they are the real deal or not does not take away their suggestion of the reality of Christ’s life and death. This is especially significant when paired with the myriad paintings, mosaics, and sculptures dedicated to Him throughout all of Rome. It is glaringly obvious that this man lived and died according to what we’ve been taught to believe.
Take the Shroud for example… As you can (hopefully) make out from this picture, you can see how Christ’s body was laid in the tomb. You can understand his humanness by seeing his height, the width of his pelvis, and the cross of his arms, limp in death. You can also understand his suffering, making out actual stains of blood coming from this scalp, abdomen, running down his arms, and pooling at his hands and feet. Then, of course, you can understand his divinity by questioning how the image of his face and body came to be “burned” into this fabric… something that, to this day, no one has been able to figure out or replicate. And to me, the question of whether this is “the shroud” or not is unimportant… the reality is that there was a shroud, and Christ laid in it, limp and bleeding as this suggests. I was blown away by how real it all became.
All of this really makes me want to go visit Jerusalem sometime. Can you imagine?? How cool would that be!?
For now, my hope and prayer is that I don’t lose this feeling of awe and conviction. I want to live my life like I truly, sincerely believe that Christ Jesus walked the earth, suffered a bodily death, and rose for me… just as the Bible says. I hope that I can be inspired by the sacrifice of time, energy, and life that the early church made for their deep conviction of Jesus’ divinity, which is so evident in the culture, art, and history of Rome and probably throughout other major cities that were once in the Roman Empire. I don’t want to take for granted this gift we have of the evidence of Jesus… both within the words of scripture and the history of our world.
I also want to watch a documentary on the Shroud. Anyone want to join me?!
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Abundant Gifts, by M
Hey everyone!
Sorry that I have been totally MIA lately. To say that things have been busy is a total understatement. I honestly do not remember a time when my life has been quite as crazy as it has been here in the last two weeks! Luckily, I have only one more 13-hour workday standing between me and two glorious weeks of vacation in beautiful Italy. CANNOT WAIT!!!!
On that note, here's advance warning that you may not hear from me and W for a while... we're planning on being relatively "unplugged" and just enjoying so much time being together and with the family. FYI!
I honestly don't have too much to say (and certainly nothing all that profound) because I feel certifiably brain dead at the moment. With that said, I decided I will share a brief thought/question I had earlier this week and perhaps invite you to weigh in on it with me.
Right now I'm reading Ann Voskamp's book One Thousand Gifts. It's a New York Times Bestseller and it received a lot of attention when it first came out (in late 2011, I believe?)... mostly for the stream-of-consciousness prose that she writes in. I'll admit, it takes a bit of getting used to. Anyway, the whole deal with the book (spoiler alert! haha) is that it's her experience of trying to live a life of "eucharisteo" or thanksgiving; she accomplishes this by writing a list of 1,000 gifts. Of course, she learns many good lessons along the way, and invites all of her readers to try the same gift-identifying exercise and see what happens in their heart and faith journey as they do it. For what's it's worth, I'm enjoying the book (even if it is a departure from the things I typically read).
So I'm reading this book and having crazy long day after crazy long day and I've been honestly trying to have a moderately better spirit of thanksgiving. I say moderately because I haven't actually written any gifts down... and I'm pretty sure the whole point is to actually do it (haha)... to make the writing of the gifts a discpline. I'm pretty sure it doesn't work quite the same way if you don't. Regardless, this idea of having a spirit of thanksgiving has been floating around in my mind at least, and that's a start, right?
Now, after recognizing about 4 gifts, a pattern became very clear that started to intrigue me. I noticed that all of the gifts that flowed easily into my brain were all "negative gifts," if you will. Meaning, all of my gifts sounded like this "I am so thankful that it is not raining today." "Man, it is so great that I don't have to ride the bus to work!" Or, my personal favorite: "God, I am just thrilled that I don't have to squat over a dirt hole to pee." These are all really great and awesome gifts, don't get me wrong! I am thankful for all of these things! But, it also revealed something in my heart: why is it that, for whatever reason, I'm only able to recognize these gifts in the context of comparison? Why is it that it doesn't come naturally to just think to myself "I am thankful for sunshine... for a car that works... for a toilet"? A toilet, for gosh sakes! Is it that strange to be thankful for a toilet in and of itself!?
Apparently my instinct is to only recognize gifts in the context of being better off than someone else. And you know what, that reminded me of the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector in Luke 18:11-13... "God, I thank you that I am not like other men..." said the Pharisee. Hmmm, something about that similarity seems like bad news to me.
I think that true eurcharisteo happens only outside the context of comparison. Much has been made about the dange of comparison when you're on the losing end... however, this is teaching me that there is danger, too, in comparing when you're the one "winning." It is not for us to know all the ways in which God blesses others; maybe that hole in the ground is a blessing to someone else. Actually, I am sure that it is. So, all of this to say... I feel a conviction that true thanksgiving means recognizing the actual gift, and not recognizing simply the absence of something worse. For our God is one who gives abundantly! He should be praised rightly for that abundance, no?
Have you all ever noticed that tendency within yourselves, to give thanks for what you don't face instead of giving thanks for the abundance of what you have? What are your thoughts about it?
Sorry that I have been totally MIA lately. To say that things have been busy is a total understatement. I honestly do not remember a time when my life has been quite as crazy as it has been here in the last two weeks! Luckily, I have only one more 13-hour workday standing between me and two glorious weeks of vacation in beautiful Italy. CANNOT WAIT!!!!
On that note, here's advance warning that you may not hear from me and W for a while... we're planning on being relatively "unplugged" and just enjoying so much time being together and with the family. FYI!
I honestly don't have too much to say (and certainly nothing all that profound) because I feel certifiably brain dead at the moment. With that said, I decided I will share a brief thought/question I had earlier this week and perhaps invite you to weigh in on it with me.
Right now I'm reading Ann Voskamp's book One Thousand Gifts. It's a New York Times Bestseller and it received a lot of attention when it first came out (in late 2011, I believe?)... mostly for the stream-of-consciousness prose that she writes in. I'll admit, it takes a bit of getting used to. Anyway, the whole deal with the book (spoiler alert! haha) is that it's her experience of trying to live a life of "eucharisteo" or thanksgiving; she accomplishes this by writing a list of 1,000 gifts. Of course, she learns many good lessons along the way, and invites all of her readers to try the same gift-identifying exercise and see what happens in their heart and faith journey as they do it. For what's it's worth, I'm enjoying the book (even if it is a departure from the things I typically read).
So I'm reading this book and having crazy long day after crazy long day and I've been honestly trying to have a moderately better spirit of thanksgiving. I say moderately because I haven't actually written any gifts down... and I'm pretty sure the whole point is to actually do it (haha)... to make the writing of the gifts a discpline. I'm pretty sure it doesn't work quite the same way if you don't. Regardless, this idea of having a spirit of thanksgiving has been floating around in my mind at least, and that's a start, right?
Now, after recognizing about 4 gifts, a pattern became very clear that started to intrigue me. I noticed that all of the gifts that flowed easily into my brain were all "negative gifts," if you will. Meaning, all of my gifts sounded like this "I am so thankful that it is not raining today." "Man, it is so great that I don't have to ride the bus to work!" Or, my personal favorite: "God, I am just thrilled that I don't have to squat over a dirt hole to pee." These are all really great and awesome gifts, don't get me wrong! I am thankful for all of these things! But, it also revealed something in my heart: why is it that, for whatever reason, I'm only able to recognize these gifts in the context of comparison? Why is it that it doesn't come naturally to just think to myself "I am thankful for sunshine... for a car that works... for a toilet"? A toilet, for gosh sakes! Is it that strange to be thankful for a toilet in and of itself!?
Apparently my instinct is to only recognize gifts in the context of being better off than someone else. And you know what, that reminded me of the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector in Luke 18:11-13... "God, I thank you that I am not like other men..." said the Pharisee. Hmmm, something about that similarity seems like bad news to me.
I think that true eurcharisteo happens only outside the context of comparison. Much has been made about the dange of comparison when you're on the losing end... however, this is teaching me that there is danger, too, in comparing when you're the one "winning." It is not for us to know all the ways in which God blesses others; maybe that hole in the ground is a blessing to someone else. Actually, I am sure that it is. So, all of this to say... I feel a conviction that true thanksgiving means recognizing the actual gift, and not recognizing simply the absence of something worse. For our God is one who gives abundantly! He should be praised rightly for that abundance, no?
Have you all ever noticed that tendency within yourselves, to give thanks for what you don't face instead of giving thanks for the abundance of what you have? What are your thoughts about it?
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Mark 12 : 30
Mark 12:30:
"Jesus replied, “The most important commandment is this...the Lord our God is the one and only Lord. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength."
Haven't we all heard this verse a million times? Heart, soul, mind, strength. Heart, mind, strength, soul.We know, we know; love God above all else.
If you're like me, you've never really given much thought to the fact that loving God with your mind is very different from loving God with your strength. I pretty much just bundled the four pieces together and decided that love is love. Today's message at church made me think otherwise. Here's the breakdown:
To love God with all your HEART, you have to allow His heart inside of your own. It's this whole, "Break my heart for what breaks Yours," idea. To love God with all my heart, I must love the people around me ("That which you do unto others you do unto Me"). The heart is the center of connection and emotion-- to love God with all my heart means to connect to my neighbors through and with empathy, grace, truth, and compassion.
To love God with all your MIND, you have to train your brain in the ways of the Lord. This means thinking about him often, learning about the life of Christ, reading the scriptures, doing book studies, talking rhetoric and theology with friends. I must fill my intellectual self with the stuff of God rather than memoirs of Chelsea Handler and Huffington Post news articles. The mind is the center of logic and decision-making-- to love God with all my mind means to fill it with knowledge about what's important and how it came to be so.
To love God with all your SOUL, you have to give the Lord time to feed it. We cannot love God with our soul if we never offer it to him and keep it closed off because we're too busy working out or having coffee with friends or sleeping in late. And none of those things are inherently bad. But I must allow God to create the longing for Him in my soul through reflection of His great works and my own great need. The soul is the center of self-awareness and values-- to love God will all my soul means to dedicate the quiet time necessary to allow Him to reaffirm who I am and what I believe.
Finally, to love God with all your STRENGTH, you need to allow the Lord to show you the ways in which you can help others. Not only does this 'strength' mean our own available energy, but also the spiritual gifts that the Lord has given us. I must figure out the ways in which the Lord has blessed me so that I can pour that blessing upon others. Strength is the center of talent and resources-- to love God with all my strength means to spend myself in the service of others using the gifts that He made me to use.
Kind of life-changing, right? The idea is that each of us has one or two areas which are natural and easy places of love for us, and one or two more that could use serious development. For me, I'm pretty good at the heart and strength, but seriously lacking in the mind and strength categories. This knowledge will allow me to target my own weaknesses and figure out how I want to develop them. It's easy to say, "Of course I love God. I'm active in my church, I was baptized as an adult, I've said the salvation prayer, I sometimes give money to homeless people..." but in looking through this list, do our actions really reflect that we love God wholly?
Food for thought. Also, major credit goes to my campus pastor Steve Gillen for bringing to our congregation's attention the framework for truly loving God with our hearts, mind, soul, and strength. Hope it's as impactful for you guys as it was for me this morning!
"Jesus replied, “The most important commandment is this...the Lord our God is the one and only Lord. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength."
Haven't we all heard this verse a million times? Heart, soul, mind, strength. Heart, mind, strength, soul.We know, we know; love God above all else.
If you're like me, you've never really given much thought to the fact that loving God with your mind is very different from loving God with your strength. I pretty much just bundled the four pieces together and decided that love is love. Today's message at church made me think otherwise. Here's the breakdown:
To love God with all your HEART, you have to allow His heart inside of your own. It's this whole, "Break my heart for what breaks Yours," idea. To love God with all my heart, I must love the people around me ("That which you do unto others you do unto Me"). The heart is the center of connection and emotion-- to love God with all my heart means to connect to my neighbors through and with empathy, grace, truth, and compassion.
To love God with all your MIND, you have to train your brain in the ways of the Lord. This means thinking about him often, learning about the life of Christ, reading the scriptures, doing book studies, talking rhetoric and theology with friends. I must fill my intellectual self with the stuff of God rather than memoirs of Chelsea Handler and Huffington Post news articles. The mind is the center of logic and decision-making-- to love God with all my mind means to fill it with knowledge about what's important and how it came to be so.
To love God with all your SOUL, you have to give the Lord time to feed it. We cannot love God with our soul if we never offer it to him and keep it closed off because we're too busy working out or having coffee with friends or sleeping in late. And none of those things are inherently bad. But I must allow God to create the longing for Him in my soul through reflection of His great works and my own great need. The soul is the center of self-awareness and values-- to love God will all my soul means to dedicate the quiet time necessary to allow Him to reaffirm who I am and what I believe.
Finally, to love God with all your STRENGTH, you need to allow the Lord to show you the ways in which you can help others. Not only does this 'strength' mean our own available energy, but also the spiritual gifts that the Lord has given us. I must figure out the ways in which the Lord has blessed me so that I can pour that blessing upon others. Strength is the center of talent and resources-- to love God with all my strength means to spend myself in the service of others using the gifts that He made me to use.
Kind of life-changing, right? The idea is that each of us has one or two areas which are natural and easy places of love for us, and one or two more that could use serious development. For me, I'm pretty good at the heart and strength, but seriously lacking in the mind and strength categories. This knowledge will allow me to target my own weaknesses and figure out how I want to develop them. It's easy to say, "Of course I love God. I'm active in my church, I was baptized as an adult, I've said the salvation prayer, I sometimes give money to homeless people..." but in looking through this list, do our actions really reflect that we love God wholly?
Food for thought. Also, major credit goes to my campus pastor Steve Gillen for bringing to our congregation's attention the framework for truly loving God with our hearts, mind, soul, and strength. Hope it's as impactful for you guys as it was for me this morning!
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Watch & Wait, by M
Did you know that there is an actual treatment protocol for certain cancers called "watch and wait"? I didn’t know this was a real thing until I started spending every working hour talking about cancer. But it is a very real cancer treatment. And by "cancer," I mean full-blown cancer cells… we’re not talking "pre-cancer" or "could-be cancer." There are a group of people who go to the doctor, receive a cancer diagnosis, and they are told that their treatment will not be chemotherapy, radiation, immunotherapy, or any clinical trial. Instead, it will be "watch and wait."
What a terrifying thing, right!? Before I started working at my current job, I had heard a rumor of this and I thought it to be the most ridiculous thing in the universe. I proudly declared that if I was ever in those shoes, I would not tolerate watching and waiting… I’d scour the country to find someone, anyone who would give me an actual treatment. How could watching and waiting be advisable to anyone who has cancer growing inside them?
Well, now I know better.Now, I know patients who are watching and waiting, and I know exactly why they’re doing it. Turns out, it is a better way. Who knew?
The deal with watching and waiting is that it is a defensive posture. At first, that seems silly in the face of such a formidable opponent. Why not go on the offensive? Why not be proactive about things? But, there are good reasons for this choice. There are clear, researched, medically-sound reasons for why watching and waiting is more advisable in certain scenarios than blasting the body with chemotherapy and radiation are. Email me if you want to know specifically (I find it fascinating to talk about, clearly).
So, I say all of this to make a point that "watch and wait" is a very real and advisable treatment for certain people. It is NOT a "non-treatment", as I previously assumed. There are benefits to heading this protocol and great dangers in bypassing it. And, I say all this to communicate something really important… that watching and waiting (in life) is also not to be dismissed. As Ecclesiastes says, there is a "season for every activity under the sun." I am learning that there is certainly a season for watching and waiting. And that season is important.
My life is all about watching and waiting these days. As I mentioned in my previous post, it seems like everyone else is moving full-steam ahead in their lives, while God has written me a prescription for watch and wait. It is totally frustrating at times… I just want to know what is going to happen in the coming months. I want to know where I will live, what I will drive, where I will work, what my community will look like, where my relationship is going, what my financial situation will be. Right now, I have no answers. Well, except a whisper from God… "Monica, watch and wait."
So, I’m learning to find the value in it. You know who else had to watch and wait? Pretty much every one of the Bible's heroes. The story I’m landing on the most, though, is Sarah and Abraham. Man they were waiting a long time! Sarah and Abraham (or should I say Sarai and Abram?) had both lived 75 years childless. At that point, God promised that they would have offspring... tick tock, tick tock... Nothing. We often look at the story of Abraham, Hagar, and Ishmael and think to ourselvs "holy cow! Couldn't they have just a little more patience? Didn't they trust God at all!?" Yet, Genesis 16 tells us that Ishmael was born when Abraham was 86 years old. That's 8+ years of waiting. Wouldn't your patience and trust wane? I know mine would.
Moreover, God doesn't speak again on the subject until 15 years after the original promise (that makes Abraham 90 years old). Tick tock, tick tock... nothing. 9 years after that, God tells Abraham again that he will have a son... tick tock, tick tock... and finally, Sarah bears Isaac at 100 years old. 25 years of waiting. Sarah and Abraham got a big-time command to watch and wait. They tried and failed to trust this "protocol"... they took their future into their own hands and the decendants of Ishmael suffered mightily for it. For them, as for us, there were good reasons for the watching and the waiting.
Thus, I'm trying to trust this. I'm trying to remind myself that watch and wait is not a time out. It doesn't mean that God has forgotten me or forsaken me. Rather, perhaps it means that something greater is awaiting me at another appointed time or, perhaps that taking now what is reserved for my future would result in damage of some sort. Who knows. Either way, I know that I'm in good company here in this holding cell... and I pray that I may be a good steward of this season, until it's my turn to make a move.
Monday, May 21, 2012
Knit Together, by M
Before I get started, I'd like to take a second to recognize that Two by Truth is officially a year old! Thanks to everyone who has read the blog, left encouraging comments, etc. We've really enjoyed working on this, and frankly... I'm pleasantly surprised that we've stuck with it for so long. No project abandonment here!
In thinking about this 1-year anniversary, it has occurred to me that the general premise behind this blog is shifting. This is not because of anything W or I have consciously done, but rather just the currents of our lives changing. Of course, this blog started out as a voice for two twins on decidedly different journeys. Yet, these days it seems our journeys are looking more and more similar. I hope that doesn't bother anyone!
It's really bizarre, actually, the similarities in our lives at the moment. But, is that surprising? Probably not. So, I thought I'd compose this post as a little ode to my "twinny" and to the Creator who "determines our steps" (Proverbs 16:9). I feel so blessed that W and I have parallel paths (at the moment at least) and I think He deserves some praise for this blessing!
Growing up as a twin is a very strange thing. Well, at least that's what I've determined in retrospect. At the time, I suppose W and I thought that our experience was the norm, as it was all we knew. From the very beginning we were best friends (save that fateful 8th grade year) and to this day I consider my relationship with W something that is indescribable to the singleton set. How do you describe a relationship that most of the world has absolulely no idea about? There does not exist a word that defines this bond... it's not friend, it's not sister... perhaps "soulmate" is as good as it gets. Yet, even our contemporary ideas of what a "soulmate" is are not good enough for what my twin is. Perhaps, twinship is the perfect definition of "soulmate" where all romantic inclinations of the word inevitably fall short. It is weird and beautiful to think that W and I literally were once one being... I suppose, one soul.
Yet, this has caused some confusion and questioning at various points in my life. For example, I hate that elementary school sentiment that "everyone is like a unique snowflake... no two are alike." Oh okay. Well where does that leave me!? haha Growing up, sometimes I feared that being an identical twin meant that one or both of us weren't "supposed" to exist... like our spontaneous split in utero meant that while everyone else came about because God wanted them and needed exactly them on earth, W or I just came about randomly and now there's two where perhaps there was only meant to be one. I know that is totally dumb and untrue, but as a kid, sometimes that's what I thought in light of others' sentiments about God creating us to be "uniquely you," as they say.
I have always thought of the verse in Psalms where it talks about being "knit together" as talking about us. In reality, David is talking about God knitting just him together, but I absolutely think that W and I were "knit together" as well... both within ourselves (as David was) and with each other. And how cool... take a look at the verse that follows:
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." (Psalm 139:13-14)
Now I'm more of the mind that W and I are so awesome that one of us just wouldn't do. haha! But really, I take comfort in the fact that God knit us together and He made both of us wonderfully for purposes that perhaps only we could fulfill both individually and collectively.
And now, I'm just in awe of how God is using both of us in similar ways and how He has provided for us emotionally and spiritually in each other on our parallel paths. It's almost like we keep leapfrogging along the same path... one ahead of another and on and on and on. Those of you who know us personally are aware that we have not lived together since high school... we've been separated for 7 years and counting. (That is crazy to me!) But, check out this series of events since we've been "on our own": we both started college as theatre majors in Ohio... then W moved south and set her sights on serving in the non-profit arena. Then I had a brief stint in Teach for America... and W moved back up North. Then I moved south and started in educational programming in non-profit... and W had her brief stint in Teach for America. Then W got married to a nice blond-haired, blue-eyed Chrristian boy...and I started dating a nice blond-haired, blue-eyed Christian boy. Then, W plans to move back to the south and work in educational programming in non-profit... and I just might marry this guy. And all of a sudden our paths are like... the same. It's very strange. Not to mention our journeys of faith being on the same trajectory as well.
I've been reflecting on all of this because, honestly, W and I have not intentionally or consciously tried to make our lives mirror each other. We really haven't. I was convinced for a long time that W would live in Tennessee and work with the blind and I would live in NYC and be a theatre professor. Yet, God had other plans for us and it is in His perfection that He has led us to where we are today. I think that is really cool... because here we are facing our own challenges and trials, and in this "leapfrog" effect, one of us nearly always has a tour guide of sorts in the other. It is an incredible blessing and not one that I think is coincidental or random.
So on this day I just praise God for this blessing! I am well aware that my relationship with W is something that very, very few people get to call their own and, for this, I am so very thankful that God appointed the two of us to share this bond. I also know that perhaps this "leapfrogging" through life won't last forever, so while it does, I will share my wisdom and insight with W earnestly and truthfully and pray that she does the same for me. Our God provides for us individually in the ways in which we need it... and He's funny, sometimes, isn't He?
In thinking about this 1-year anniversary, it has occurred to me that the general premise behind this blog is shifting. This is not because of anything W or I have consciously done, but rather just the currents of our lives changing. Of course, this blog started out as a voice for two twins on decidedly different journeys. Yet, these days it seems our journeys are looking more and more similar. I hope that doesn't bother anyone!
It's really bizarre, actually, the similarities in our lives at the moment. But, is that surprising? Probably not. So, I thought I'd compose this post as a little ode to my "twinny" and to the Creator who "determines our steps" (Proverbs 16:9). I feel so blessed that W and I have parallel paths (at the moment at least) and I think He deserves some praise for this blessing!
Growing up as a twin is a very strange thing. Well, at least that's what I've determined in retrospect. At the time, I suppose W and I thought that our experience was the norm, as it was all we knew. From the very beginning we were best friends (save that fateful 8th grade year) and to this day I consider my relationship with W something that is indescribable to the singleton set. How do you describe a relationship that most of the world has absolulely no idea about? There does not exist a word that defines this bond... it's not friend, it's not sister... perhaps "soulmate" is as good as it gets. Yet, even our contemporary ideas of what a "soulmate" is are not good enough for what my twin is. Perhaps, twinship is the perfect definition of "soulmate" where all romantic inclinations of the word inevitably fall short. It is weird and beautiful to think that W and I literally were once one being... I suppose, one soul.
Yet, this has caused some confusion and questioning at various points in my life. For example, I hate that elementary school sentiment that "everyone is like a unique snowflake... no two are alike." Oh okay. Well where does that leave me!? haha Growing up, sometimes I feared that being an identical twin meant that one or both of us weren't "supposed" to exist... like our spontaneous split in utero meant that while everyone else came about because God wanted them and needed exactly them on earth, W or I just came about randomly and now there's two where perhaps there was only meant to be one. I know that is totally dumb and untrue, but as a kid, sometimes that's what I thought in light of others' sentiments about God creating us to be "uniquely you," as they say.
I have always thought of the verse in Psalms where it talks about being "knit together" as talking about us. In reality, David is talking about God knitting just him together, but I absolutely think that W and I were "knit together" as well... both within ourselves (as David was) and with each other. And how cool... take a look at the verse that follows:
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." (Psalm 139:13-14)
Now I'm more of the mind that W and I are so awesome that one of us just wouldn't do. haha! But really, I take comfort in the fact that God knit us together and He made both of us wonderfully for purposes that perhaps only we could fulfill both individually and collectively.
And now, I'm just in awe of how God is using both of us in similar ways and how He has provided for us emotionally and spiritually in each other on our parallel paths. It's almost like we keep leapfrogging along the same path... one ahead of another and on and on and on. Those of you who know us personally are aware that we have not lived together since high school... we've been separated for 7 years and counting. (That is crazy to me!) But, check out this series of events since we've been "on our own": we both started college as theatre majors in Ohio... then W moved south and set her sights on serving in the non-profit arena. Then I had a brief stint in Teach for America... and W moved back up North. Then I moved south and started in educational programming in non-profit... and W had her brief stint in Teach for America. Then W got married to a nice blond-haired, blue-eyed Chrristian boy...and I started dating a nice blond-haired, blue-eyed Christian boy. Then, W plans to move back to the south and work in educational programming in non-profit... and I just might marry this guy. And all of a sudden our paths are like... the same. It's very strange. Not to mention our journeys of faith being on the same trajectory as well.
I've been reflecting on all of this because, honestly, W and I have not intentionally or consciously tried to make our lives mirror each other. We really haven't. I was convinced for a long time that W would live in Tennessee and work with the blind and I would live in NYC and be a theatre professor. Yet, God had other plans for us and it is in His perfection that He has led us to where we are today. I think that is really cool... because here we are facing our own challenges and trials, and in this "leapfrog" effect, one of us nearly always has a tour guide of sorts in the other. It is an incredible blessing and not one that I think is coincidental or random.
So on this day I just praise God for this blessing! I am well aware that my relationship with W is something that very, very few people get to call their own and, for this, I am so very thankful that God appointed the two of us to share this bond. I also know that perhaps this "leapfrogging" through life won't last forever, so while it does, I will share my wisdom and insight with W earnestly and truthfully and pray that she does the same for me. Our God provides for us individually in the ways in which we need it... and He's funny, sometimes, isn't He?
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
On the Lord Coming Through
Well folks, there are a lot of changes going on in the W and T household lately! The biggest one being that in a few short weeks, we'll be moving back to the South! I cannot even begin to describe my joy over this development. Nashville, TN has had a hold on my heart for many years now, and I am thrilled to be putting down roots there. Heck, we're even buying a house! Many exciting things to look forward to this summer.
One of the hardest parts of making the decision to move was knowing that I would have to give up my job here in Chicago. Getting this job was one of the happiest days of my life. This was the dream job, the job that I have thrived in, the job that is the perfect fit of my passions and skills. And 8 months in, we decided to leave. I was crushed.
But the decision had to be made, and it was and is the right decision for our family. Plus there's the whole thing that in just a few years I may have to evaluate what to do about working and/or having kids. Isn't it crazy how early that reality sets in? That's another post for another time I think.
Anyway, I was crushed. I prayed and I looked for other jobs and I networked. I sulked. I tried to pretend that I could get another job that would be as great. It didn't work. I focused on how awesome it was going to be having the summer off to get settled. I thought about how blessed we are that we can afford, as a young married couple, for me to be unemployed for 2 or 3 months. I scanned through all of my ideas for fun places I could travel to and cool places I could visit while not working. And I was still crushed. And rather faithless.
Fast forward a number of weeks, and the Lord has come through in a HUGE way. In an entirely unexpected turn of events (given the current size of their staff and the lack of expected turnover), the Tennessee office of my current organization was able to create a new position and today I was approved to transfer into it. While I don't get to keep my original dream job, I get to stay with my dream organization and start a new chapter in a new area. What a huge, huge blessing. And for three weeks, I even get to be the breadwinner in our family, and I get to tell T what he needs to do while I'm out working to bring home the bacon! For some reason, this is really enticing to me. But again, that's probably for another post.
...For some reason, until today, I was consistently full of doubt that the Lord would come through.
When has the Lord EVER failed me? He hasn't! When have I ever been left to overcome an insurmountable obstacle on my own? I haven't! Even when the answer does not look how I would expect or desire, the Lord has never left me in a place that he hasn't redeemed for His good, and ultimately, that's what is best for me as well.
I am embarrassed, on days like these, of the smallness of my faith and by my lack of patience. I can think through the seasons of my life and clearly trace his influence and path, and yet every time I get to a point where the next step is unclear, I crumble. Days like today remind me that even when I can't see where I'm going, the Lord is actively putting in place the building blocks of whatever will become the next step. And it's a comforting thought.
So today, I revel in the knowledge that my God is for me and not against me, that he has given me hope and a future, that he listens to the desires of my heart and that I matter to him.
And for tomorrow, when I am doubtful again, I will remember today.
One of the hardest parts of making the decision to move was knowing that I would have to give up my job here in Chicago. Getting this job was one of the happiest days of my life. This was the dream job, the job that I have thrived in, the job that is the perfect fit of my passions and skills. And 8 months in, we decided to leave. I was crushed.
But the decision had to be made, and it was and is the right decision for our family. Plus there's the whole thing that in just a few years I may have to evaluate what to do about working and/or having kids. Isn't it crazy how early that reality sets in? That's another post for another time I think.
Anyway, I was crushed. I prayed and I looked for other jobs and I networked. I sulked. I tried to pretend that I could get another job that would be as great. It didn't work. I focused on how awesome it was going to be having the summer off to get settled. I thought about how blessed we are that we can afford, as a young married couple, for me to be unemployed for 2 or 3 months. I scanned through all of my ideas for fun places I could travel to and cool places I could visit while not working. And I was still crushed. And rather faithless.
Fast forward a number of weeks, and the Lord has come through in a HUGE way. In an entirely unexpected turn of events (given the current size of their staff and the lack of expected turnover), the Tennessee office of my current organization was able to create a new position and today I was approved to transfer into it. While I don't get to keep my original dream job, I get to stay with my dream organization and start a new chapter in a new area. What a huge, huge blessing. And for three weeks, I even get to be the breadwinner in our family, and I get to tell T what he needs to do while I'm out working to bring home the bacon! For some reason, this is really enticing to me. But again, that's probably for another post.
...For some reason, until today, I was consistently full of doubt that the Lord would come through.
When has the Lord EVER failed me? He hasn't! When have I ever been left to overcome an insurmountable obstacle on my own? I haven't! Even when the answer does not look how I would expect or desire, the Lord has never left me in a place that he hasn't redeemed for His good, and ultimately, that's what is best for me as well.
I am embarrassed, on days like these, of the smallness of my faith and by my lack of patience. I can think through the seasons of my life and clearly trace his influence and path, and yet every time I get to a point where the next step is unclear, I crumble. Days like today remind me that even when I can't see where I'm going, the Lord is actively putting in place the building blocks of whatever will become the next step. And it's a comforting thought.
So today, I revel in the knowledge that my God is for me and not against me, that he has given me hope and a future, that he listens to the desires of my heart and that I matter to him.
And for tomorrow, when I am doubtful again, I will remember today.
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