Gossip, by M

As the season of Lent is upon us, I've been thinking lately about my Lenten resolution last year, which was an earnest attempt to "give up" gossip. I actually have a different resolution for this year (which perhaps I will post about at a later date), but I figured it'd be beneficial to revisit the gossip issue anyway. So, for those of you who never read my personal blog, or those who just need a refresher (like me!), here's my post from last year. I wish I could say that I've noticed significant progress in the past 12 months, but alas... it's hard to tell. Maybe I can get an A for effort? haha

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Okay, so I've been thinking about this for a while and have honestly just put it off because I am moderately intimidated by the amount of work, challenge, and thought that must go into it. That said, it's dumb to let those feelings rule over (and overrule?! ha!) the more noble pursuits of self-betterment and righteousness. So, here goes... I've decided that my lenten resolution this year is to curb gossip in my life.

I tell this to all of you because:
1) I want... no NEED for you to hold me accountable to this.
2) I want you to be aware that I will be attempting to not indulge others' gossip... so I apologize in advance if I cut you off mid-story or mid-rant. haha!
3) I'd like to encourage you to try a similar pursuit!

This has been on my heart recently for several reasons. The first is that I just keep bumping into it... in books, in scripture, in Christian blogs, etc. I figure "hey! Maybe God's trying to get my attention!" The second reason is that (and this is really a no brainer) gossiping is not something that is useful for building people up and adding value to the Kingdom. In fact, it very much does the opposite. A month or two ago Ricci (my mentor) and I talked about what it looks like to "offer parts of your body as instruments of righteousness" (Romans 6:13). I think we all have an idea of what it might look like to offer parts of our body to sin (the easiest place to go here is sexual impurity... but that's not the only one, obviously, since gossiping is another great example) but it's a very different thing to think "Am I actually using parts of my body for righteousness? How?" The final reason I want to take this on is because it's become clear to me that gossiping is often a symptom of some larger, more troublesome issues. Gossip is often the vehicle upon which judgment, insecurity, self-righteousness, etc. ride. Gossip shows no grace, and gossip certainly does not view its target as people equally broken and equally loved by the same God who loves me.

So, my hope is that during Lent, I can focus intensely on this issue, and take the time to develop (or un-develop ha!) some habits that will last me far after Easter is over. Now, before I get started, I think it's important to set some ground rules. And let me clarify that the purpose of these ground rules are NOT to give myself some wiggle room... I decided that I must have a CLEAR definition in my mind of what gossip is and what it isn't... lest I get overwhelmed, discouraged, and give in to temptation to rationalize away every wrong move I will inevitably make. Please feel free to comment on and/or add any definitions that you think are reasonable and appropriate.

-Gossip is a statement that is made behind someone's back, which wouldn't be made to their face.
-Gossip is discussing people and events that are, actually, of no concern and consequence to you.
-Gossip is making judgments about people and situations and not giving them the opportunity to rightfully defend themselves.
-Gossip SHOULD NOT be masked as "concerned conversation" about someone and their choices. If I feel concerned, I will pray for them and/or talk TO them, not ABOUT them.
-Gossip is ranting about things and people that we either can't, or haven't tried to, change.
-Gossip is anything that does not "build up" someone in your own mind or the minds of others.

That leads me to believe that the following IS NOT gossip:
-Pure statement of fact: "Mallory went to work today."
-Statements that reflect the person's worth and value in the eyes of God: "Meredith is so talented at the piano!"

The tricky parts, I think, will be 1) monitoring when some "statements of fact" turn into gossip (almost always by adding that judgment component) and 2) keeping a gauge on my heart for why I feel the need to go there in the first place. Is it insecurity? Is it just boredom?

There are TONS of verses in Proverbs, the book of James, and sprinkled throughout the Bible that talk about the pitfalls of gossip and the beauty of those who don't succumb to it. My goal over the next several weeks is not to "win" at Lent... not to count the number of days I go without messing up (I fear I will likely not even be able to start a tally)... but to learn dependence on God for victory over this sin, to experience the grace of God when I fail at resisting the temptation, and to open my heart to the value God sees in ALL His children. I hope and pray that you will hold me accountable... and I'm serious about that!!