It's W! I'm alive! I don't know why I can't seem to post lately. I certainly have enough time (re: 2 hours of The Bachelor tonight + 1 hour of Scouted= 3 hours of TV today alone), but it seems I never have enough to say.
Today's post is about my pseudo New Year's resolution. I'm trying to work on re-framing my thoughts this year...the whole, "I think therefore I am," metacognition/thinking about thinking idea that my thoughts control my feelings and my feelings control my actions...and therefore, I've got to get a better handle on my thoughts.
I've been reading a lot lately, and a good piece of advice that I came across was, "If you can't get out of it, get into it."
This idea kind of threw me for a loop. How do I "get into" something that I wish I weren't a part of at all? I think it comes down to the idea of accepting our realities as they are at the moment and being able to see our blessings even within the areas of our lives that we wish we could change-- but can't, at least for the moment.
For example, these are some things that I simply CAN'T get out of at this moment:
-Tyler working many, many hours a day
-The brutal winter that is approaching steadily
-Living in Chicago
-Not having a dog
-Spending more than I wish we were on our apartment
-Living so, so far away from some of my best friends
Instead of my normal mental monologue about these topics, which falls somewhere between "Dang it" and "I kind of hate my life" depending on the day, I'm going to try to "get into" these things.
For example, here is what I should think about the aforementioned examples:
-Tyler's job: "Wow, it is such a blessing that I have so much time to devote to cultivating my interests and learning new skills."
-Winter: "Some people go their whole lives without ever seeing snow. I should be grateful that the Lord has allowed me to see the beauty in his creation of snow."
-Chicago: "This is one of the most vibrant cities in the country. I am so blessed that we get to experience city life while we're young, and that we have enough extra money to take advantage of the awesome restaurants and shows that you could only get here."
-Traffic: "I am so blessed that I have a car and do not need to be waiting outside in the cold for the bus. this extra time gives me space to clear my thoughts, call my family, or at least sing some old songs without an audience."
-No dog: "I am so thankful that I do not have to get up early and walk outside in the 10 degree weather to take out a puppy."
-Apartment cost: "I am so blessed to be living in a place where I do not have to go anywhere else to do laundry, where the kitchen is free from ants, and where Tyler and I have room for a king size bed!"
-Far from friends: "I am grateful that by living far away from friends I have been able to cultivate a much closer relationship with my family and my in-laws than many other people."
So, that's the deal...is it working? Too soon to tell. It is HARD, though. It's HARD to give up my feeling of being entitled to whine about not getting what I want (where did this feeling even come from!?!?!). It's HARD to not compare my situation to others (I'm looking at you, Sean and Lia!) and then be jealous and feel bad about some of my unchangeable circumstances. It's HARD to try to like something that you don't like.
But it's a worthwhile pursuit, because it's my life, and I need to take ownership of it, accept it, and be thankful for it, because in all reality-- I have a GREAT, blessed, privileged, EASY life.
So that's what I'm working on. Y'all have any good resolutions?