Saturday, June 25, 2011

"Secrets of Adulthood", by M

W got me a book for Christmas this year called The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin. Before I continue, two things you should know about W and me are 1) we love reading memoirs and self-help books and 2) We have a funny habit of buying each other books as gifts, but we always read them before we actually gift them. It's become a fun little twin-birthday tradition, I guess! For reasons unbeknownst to me, however, W gave me this one without "previewing" it first... perhaps because she was busy teaching, planning a wedding, acclimating to a new city, etc? Who knows. Anyway, I've been reading it recently on my lunch break at work and have enjoyed it.

The book is a memoir on the author's year-long experiment known as her "happiness project." She did TONS of research, crafted an extensive plan, and worked really hard for 12 months at trying to become a happier person. She also kept a blog, which you can check out at http://www.happiness-project.com/ if you want!

I always think it's interesting to read self-help-esque books that are written to be secular. Not to say that they are any better or any worse than decidedly Christian books... It's just always intriguing to me to see and think about all the myriad ways people try to better their condition, exclusive of religion and faith. While I do think that some of these tips and tricks are helpful and productive (trust me, W and I have used many of them and are big proponents of therapy, too) in my experience, they still always fall a little short. Perhaps it's like putting a bandaid on a cut that's infected? Sometimes we try to remedy the symptom without actually going to the root of the problem. I digress.

In the book, the author shares a big list that she created of her "Secrets of Adulthood"... and I just love it! It's pretty self-explanatory, I guess. Here's what she shares are the top things that adulthood has taught her; she also mentions that by living by these principles, she was able to feel less guilt, less pressure, etc... and more happiness as a result:

-People don't notice your mistakes as much as you think.
-It's okay to ask for help.
-Most decisions don't require extensive research.
-Do good, feel good.
-It's important to be nice to everyone.
-Bring a sweater.
-By doing a little bit each day, you can get a lot accomplished.
-Soap and water remove most stains.
-Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch.
-If you can't find something, clean up.
-You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you like to do.
-Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy.
-What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while.
-You don't have to be good at everything.
-If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough.
-Over-the-counter medicines are very effective.
-Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good.
-What's fun for other poeple may not be fun for you - and vice versa.
-People actually prefer that you buy wedding gifts off their registry.
-You can't profoundly change your children's natures by nagging them or signing them up for classes.
-No deposit, no return.

Those are all good thoughts, right!? Even though I'm barely into adulthood, almost all of those totally resonate with me. And I can see how living by these "secrets" does grant some freedom... for example, I shouldn't need to feel pressure to enjoy things that are fun for others but not fun for me. No more guilt about it!

So I got to thinking... do I have any secrets of adulthood to add to this list? I can come up with a few. Some of these are my own creation, while others are blatantly stolen from women and men far wiser than I.

-God's way is always the best way.
-If you're going to do it, do it right.
-Bring a snack.
-Find "your people." Not all people are your people.
-Carry spare change.
-We are all in progress.
-Your GPA and college major are shockingly irrelevant for many, if not most, professions.
-Practice setting and keeping boundaries.
-Nothing is more important than your health.
-It's okay to be lame.
-Be your best advocate.

Do you have any secrets of your own!? Share them with us!

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