Hello friends! I am back from my very long hiatus and I am now officially a married woman! Although, I haven't changed my last name just yet, which, if you are not married and haven't looked into it, is actually rather complicated and time consuming. So for now, I am "W" only metaphorically and not legally, haha.
I will spare you all the details of the wedding and honeymoon and the awesomeness of the last few weeks, but believe me when I say that I had the best wedding EVER, that I have the best family and the best husband (ahh! husband!) in the whole entire world, and that I am blessed beyond belief. If you want a run-down of my top 10 favorite moments from the wedding/honeymoon, check out my post from yesterday on my personal blog!
This post isn't about the wedding, or about marriage, although I'm sure I'll be writing about both topics pretty soon.
No, this post is about my new kitchen.
See, I lived in a REALLY crappy apartment last year. It wasn't great to begin with, and was made much worse by two roommates who were not as clean as I would've liked. Maybe my former roommates would beg to differ but I really don't think I'm a super neat freak or OCD about cleanliness so much that I just want to live and cook in a place that does not have bugs, mysterious smells, or mold in the fridge. I love to cook, but in that apartment, I cooked only when completely necessary and not without doing a complete swabbing of the kitchen in Lysol wipes. My cooking hobby become nearly nil.
Since moving in with T as of Friday, I am having a bit of an idolizing relationship with my new kitchen. I saw idolizing because I have been prioritizing it above pretty much all else, including my own personal hygiene (irony, yes?), unpacking, and yes, my quiet time. I am enthralled with its granite countertops, large pantry and numerous cabinets. I fantasize about all the cooking and entertaining I will do there, and spend lots of T's time marveling at the fact that it's MY kitchen. "No," he says, "It's ours." And I say, "Well, technically yes but I will be the ONLY ONE cooking in it."
And this is a first for me. I have never had a kitchen before where I am its only cook. This means the freezer space is ALL MINE, the tupperware is ALL MINE, the condiments and spatulas and ziplock baggies and the sacks of potatoes in a cool dark space are ALL MINE. And I'm thrilled.
I intend to make lots of new and interesting things like salads with candied hazelnuts and apple slices, homemade lettuce wraps with hoisin chicken and water chestnuts, endless batches of crock pot chili made extra thick with no kidney beans cause it's MY kitchen and MY chili and I do what I want.
And this is where the idolatry comes in. You see, idolatry is an interesting topic in the Bible. It's not as heavily condemned as coveting, at least in terms of the 10 Commandments, but it's not altogether different. Coveting is lusting after something you do not have, and idolatry is lusting over something that you do have to the point that you desire it more than you desire God. And it certainly sounds like I'm lusting over the kitchen, huh?
I think it's easy to get caught in the trap of loving the blessings more than the Blesser. That's what I've noticed in myself these last few weeks when I have been remarkably and undeservedly blessed by SO MANY THINGS. I've realized how much I love the blessings, how much I love being the center of T's and everyone else's attention, how I love the gifts and my new sparkly, matching wedding band, and having a two-week long fantastic Caribbean honeymoon and yes, how much I love my new kitchen.
And it's okay to appreciate and be grateful for these things. But if love comes from God and is God, I can be assured that His desire is NOT that I spend my time and energy using the love He gives me on things rather than people.
So, I'm trying to get better. I'm trying to appreciate while acknowledging that everything I have is undeserved and a gift from Him that he reserves the right to revoke at any time, and that I am called to be joyful regardless. I'm trying to see Him moving in all areas of my life-- not just those that are shiny and new and exciting because of my new marriage and new job. I'm trying to remember that every time I approach anything with an "ALL MINE" attitude I am both insulting the Creator by whom and for whom everything is created, and also insulting myself by believing that I am what really matters in my life.
HE is what really matters in my life.